


lights will guide you home

by mrsfallonridley



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Married!Falliam, Miscarriage, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsfallonridley/pseuds/mrsfallonridley
Summary: Fallon hides a pregnancy from Liam.Story continuation:"rainbow".
Relationships: Fallon Carrington & Liam Ridley, Fallon Carrington/Liam Ridley
Comments: 26
Kudos: 88





	lights will guide you home

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, this is the 3rd version of this story. This is what happens when I have a happy fic idea and then my brain starts twisting everything about it and it only gets darker.  
> Let me shortly explain to you how this happened: After the whole Connor storyline, Fallon's "Someone who loves you would never do what she did to you" and Falliam's wedding, I think the next natural plot point is to throw them some baby drama (hopefully coming in season 4!), so, here it is! Enjoy! 
> 
> PS. For any Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice fans, I threw some Addison Montgomery in there because Fallon Carrington deserves to have the very best doctors! (Let's imagine Addison relocated her practice to Atlanta)
> 
> PPS. This was written while listening to Coldplay's "Fix You" and Kacey Musgraves's "Rainbow" in a loop so... Yeah. It explains a lot. That's the mood.

He couldn’t believe the crazy amount of paperwork she actually had on her desk. Folders on folders with paper just falling out of every single one of them. It was no surprise to Liam, though. Since they had returned from their honeymoon, she had been busier than ever. They both had. So much that Liam felt he hadn’t seen her at all making him miss her even if she slept by his side every night.

Their new house was a rare find. It somehow met all their criteria and came to them just as they were considering giving up and postponing the search.

One of the selling points had been the extraordinary amount of outdoor space, including the stables Liam knew Fallon couldn’t wait to bring her beloved horses to. However, before that happened, they had planned to do some renovations to it, and Liam knew that the design plans for the stables had to be somewhere on her messy desk.

He opened one of the desk’s drawers and his eyes immediately fell on a familiar white box. Liam sat down and, purely out of curiosity, pulled the old jewelry box from the drawer. He had offered her a beautiful diamond necklace in it just a few months back. However, as soon as he opened it, its content was revealed to be anything but similar to the grandiose piece of jewelry he had given to her at the time.

Liam took one of his hands to his temple, sighing in a mixture of anxiety and surprise as his eyes quickly scanned the items in the box.

Six plastic sticks. Each one labelled with a date written in black permanent marker in the back. Pregnancy tests.

He glanced at the drawer he taken the box from and spotted a folder that had been placed under it with Fallon’s name on the front.

* * *

_She didn’t even know why she was shaking. The last two pregnancy tests she had taken just a week ago had come back negative. Surely these ones would too. It was a relief back then, but a week had gone by and her period was still nowhere to be found, her breasts were sore, and the mere smell of coffee made her feel nauseated which certainly had never happened before._

_Fallon wasn’t dumb and the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced this was really happening, no matter how hard she tried to push it to the back of her mind._

_They hadn’t talked about having kids since the whole son-turned-brother drama and Fallon honestly didn’t know if Liam had changed his mind about their potential future family or not. All she knew was that neither of them had planned for her to get pregnant during their honeymoon. It was too fast, even for someone that always knew she wanted kids._

_Fallon placed the pregnancy test on the counter and paced in circles around the bathroom as she waited for the results to show up. The silence that filled the manor at that time in the afternoon only making the sound of her own heartbeat feel stronger and more accelerated._

_“C’mon…” she mumbled to herself, her eyes glued to the white stick. “Oh, fuck.” The inevitable confirmation showed on the test’s little display and Fallon didn’t really know how to feel. She grabbed the test to take a closer look. “Oh… fuck…” she felt tears escape her eyes as the news really hit her. A mixture of adrenaline, excitement and pure fear of Liam’s reaction._

_“What am I gonna do?” she whispered to herself before taking in a big gulp of air, hoping it would help with the shortness of breath she was feeling._

_Yes, it was really soon and totally accidental, but now that she knew about it, Fallon really wanted that baby, their baby, but her heart tightened every time she thought about what that could potentially mean for the future of her relationship with Liam._

_She had chosen him. She had told him she would choose him over having kids. Always._

_They had agreed on discussing it again later. Probably years in the future, not right after their wedding. After all, one thing they both could agree on was they were not ready to be parents right now, either they wanted it or not. It was something they had both agreed to postpone on deciding. Together._

_Fallon didn’t want Liam to resent her, or worst, resent their unborn, unplanned for child. Her mind ran all the possible scenarios, mostly the bad ones. The ones were Liam questioned the timing of this pregnancy, the ones that ended up with them fighting, the ones where all she heard was him say he didn’t want kids. Again._

_“I’m gonna need to do that again…” Fallon’s shaky hands opened another one of the pregnancy tests’ boxes and discarding the instructions she knew by heart already, heading to the toilet again, only to see the same result show up again a few minutes later._

* * *

Refocusing his attention on the box in front of him, Liam picked up randomly one of the sticks and read the date written in Fallon’s handwriting on the back of it, noticing it was just from a few days after they arrived from their honeymoon.

“Not Pregnant.” He read out loud to himself and then wondered if all the other five said the same. He picked up two other ones randomly, but this time was surprised with the word “Pregnant” displayed on both of them. He let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding in and ran his hand through his hair, trying to process all he had just seen.

“This can’t be real…” he murmured to himself and picked up each test, one by one to take a second look at the results and respective dates, realizing they all had been taken some weeks ago.

“She wouldn’t…” his eyes widened at the realization of the timeline, an unusual sense of anger starting to rise within him.

He then hurried to grab the folder still resting in the bottom of the drawer, only to have his jaw drop open in shock at the pictures he saw as soon as he opened the folder. Pictures of what seemed to be a sonogram.

Doing his best to remain calm, Liam took a deep breath and tried to fight the tears just waiting to fall down his face.

“No…” Liam ran his finger gently through the white blob in the black and white picture, not being able to take his eyes off of it; his brain scanning every pixel of the picture, waiting for the answers to all the questions going through his mind in that moment.

Liam felt his temperature rise and the tears finally giving in and rolling down his cheeks. As soon as the wave of shock subsides, his first instinct is to look for answers. Liam flipped through the sheets of paper in the medical records folder in desperation, looking for what he was pretty sure only Fallon could give him.

* * *

_After a long day of exposure to the sun, Fallon was more than tired; exhausted, was more like it, but she would never dare to complain about not being in bed when she was comfortable in Liam’s arms, feeling the fresh ocean breeze while looking at the starry night sky in a softly swaying hammock. She really couldn’t think of a better scenery._

_“Can we never leave?” Fallon looked up just in time to catch the grin forming in his lips. “Please…”_

_“Well…” Liam covered her mouth with kisses that quickly moved to her cheek, and then to her ear. “I’m totally down for it, but I think you’ll get bored soon.”_

_“Bored? I would say you have been keeping me pretty entertained.”_

_“I have already seen you looking at your email, Fallon…” Liam chuckled as Fallon was caught off guard._

_“That…” she hid her face in embarrassment. “That was me checking if my company hadn’t burnt to the ground yet. Duties that cannot be delegated.” She run her fingertips through his bare chest. “But… I’m totally here with you.”_

_“You better be, because soon we will have to go back to reality…” Liam intertwined his fingers with hers. “…and we have a lot to do…” he kissed her forehead as she yawned and closed her eyes for a moment. “Together, obviously. As husband and wife. Can you believe it?”_

_“You have been my husband since day one, so yeah, I can believe it, Mr. Ridley.”_

_“Hmm, Fallon?” she opened her eyes and looked up, noticing the change in his tone. “Do you think you will ever move out of the manor?” Fallon adjusted her body’s position, pushing herself to a more upright position where she could look more directly at him. “I don’t mind living at the manor at all, but I do think we should have our own place at some point… Soon.” Liam added, trying to read her reaction._

_“I… would love that too, I just thought we weren’t in a hurry.”_

_“We aren’t. It’s just that… As you know, with the wedding, I get more shares of VKI, and with everything that happened with my mother and Moldovia… Things might get messy between our families and I don’t want us to be caught in the middle of all that.” Liam sounded serious and somewhat concerned. He tended to be the more rational one, and when it came to handle family drama, she had learned to trust his judgement on it. “I think we need a more neutral ground.”_

_“A Ridley zone.” Fallon completed, referring to their new shared last name._

_“Exactly…” He pulled her into his embrace once again where she gladly rested her head again. “Not a Carrington vs Van Kirk battlefield. Somewhere it can be just the two of us, and where we can have some needed peace.”_

_“I get that… I think we can start our search when we get back to Atlanta.”_

_“Thank you…” Liam watched Fallon snuggle up against his chest and close her eyes once again, making him smile just to think that he would inevitably have to carry her to bed. “Hopefully the search for our dream home will go a lot smoother than it did last time too… You know, without crazy schemes, the fake kids, the yelling at each other…” Liam teased her, gently poking her arm._

_“I-…” Fallon was ready to deliver the perfect comeback when something flashed through her mind: her trusty monthly pill packet; the same one she had neglected ever since they had gotten to the tropical island. “I… I promise there won’t be any of that this time.” Fallon tried to shake away the panic that rushed through her body while trying to control the nervous stutter._

_“Yeah, hopefully there was a lesson learned there.” Fallon wasn’t even listening anymore. Her brain was all numbers, dates and probabilities as she tried to access the risk of their situation, considering that the luck factor was a major player in the equation. “Babe?” Liam called when he looked down and noticed the puzzled and focused look on her face. “Is everything okay?”_

_“Yeah, yeah.” Fallon tried to shake the idea off her head while trying not to trip on her words. “I’m- I’m just really tired. I think we should go to sleep…”_

_“One last glass of champagne before bed?” Liam pointed to the bottle in the small table next to the hammock._

_“No, I’m okay.”_

* * *

Liam hadn’t been able to think about anything else all day. The more he thought about it, the angrier he was. Part of him just wanted to confront her while the other didn’t even want to look at her face.

“Hey, babe…” Liam was staring blankly into the book he was attempting to read when Fallon’s soft tired tone snapped him out of his thoughts. “I’m sorry I got home so late…” she sighed as she rested everything, she was holding in one of the benches in their bedroom. “I’m just gonna take a quick shower. I cannot wait to get to bed.” Fallon said before quickly disappearing into the master’s bathroom.

Liam put the book down and tried to calm himself down, trying to avoid reacting too abruptly. However, the longer he just sat there, the more he felt his skin itch and before he knew it, he had gotten up from the bed.

Liam glanced at his nightstand drawer, where he had placed the tests and the medical folder and walked in circles around the room, clueless about what to do next.

Impulsively, and with no other better idea in mind, Liam stormed into the bathroom. He had great intentions of confronting her and get the answers he had been looking for all afternoon, but he was completely paralyzed and left speechless when he walked in the bathroom and watched her naked figure through the shower’s clear glass; his eyes immediately searching for a hint of a pregnancy belly.

Liam is sure he sees it. That has to be it. In other occasions, he wouldn’t even have noticed anything different, or he would probably think she was just a little bloated, but not now. Now his brain could only think how that’s just another proof of the big secret she has been keeping from him.

“Are you thinking about joining me?” her voice brings him back to reality once again as she catches him staring at her from across the room.

“No.” Liam struggles to let the simple word slip off his lips, before turning around as fast as he can and leave the bathroom, running to sit on the edge of the bed. He closes his eyes and tries to not replay the same quote over and over again in his head.

When Fallon leaves the bathroom in her black satin pajama set, she spots Liam sitting on the edge of their bed with his head down.

“Are you okay, honey?” she asked softly, sitting beside him and rubbing his back in soothing circles. In that moment, it’s like her touch burns him and Liam immediately gets up, walking away from her.

“No.” he faces her, and it takes her no time to see the anger in his eyes.

“What’s wrong, baby?” they had fought before, and Fallon had seen Liam be frustrated with her before, but she couldn’t think of a time she had seen him so angry. Especially with her.

“You are a hypocrite.” He simply said, already on the verge of tears.

“What?” Fallon’s heart started racing. She got up, trying to reach for his hand, only to have him take a step back just in time to avoid her touch.

“Someone who loves you would never do what she did to you.” He quoted it back to her. The same quote that had been haunting him all afternoon. The quote she has said to him when they confronted his mother about the secret that she had kept from him for 10 years.

“What are you talking about?”

“Fallon.” He paused for a few seconds before he asked quite roughly. “Are you pregnant?”

* * *

_Since she still hadn’t told Liam and he had just gone to New York for a few days to deal with the latest drama as a VKI shareholder, Fallon decided that the only option was to go to her appointment alone._

_Fallon knew she needed to tell him at some point, and she had attempted to do so on many occasions, but it never felt right. However, Fallon was also starting to realize that the more she postponed it, the less it seemed like it was gonna be a good time to tell him._

_“I think I’m pregnant.” She started by telling Dr. Addison Montgomery, her gynecologist since she was a teenager, a woman that over the years had also become her good friend._

_“Oh congratulations!” she widened her eyes, surprised at the news. Addison knew Fallon for long enough to know that she would have been consulted if she was thinking about getting pregnant, making her assume right away that this was an unplanned pregnancy. “Do you know how far along you are?”_

_“If I did the calculations properly… about 7 weeks. It was a little honeymoon accident…” Fallon explained shyly._

_“And… You want to keep the baby?” Addison tried to guess not wanting to make any further assumptions._

_“Yeah, yeah!” Fallon replied right away, feeling slightly guilty for being so sure without ever considering Liam’s opinion on the matter. “I know I should probably have come in sooner, but I have been really stressed and busy…” she sighed when she remembered the piles of paper on her desk, waiting for her right after she was done with the appointment. “But I actually wanted to know if I could have an ultrasound or… you know, check on the baby. See if everything is okay.”_

_“Yeah, sure! We can do that.” Addison gave her a warming smile. “I also want to do some more extensive blood work on you after.” Addison moved from her chair to start preparing everything for the examination. “How have you been feeling?” she asked as she gestured for Fallon to follow her._

_“Tired. Very tired. I feel like I could sleep all day.” Fallon sighed as she unbuttoned her pants._

_“You are gonna need to take them off completely.” Addison laughed as she watched Fallon sitting down. “The embryo is probably still too little. We are going in for a transvaginal exam.”_

_“I have been feeling a bit nauseated,” Fallon continued, “but not really vomiting or anything like that... My boobs have doubled in size and I’m actually surprised Liam hasn’t noticed…”_

_“He doesn’t know?” Addison stopped mid insertion of the transducer_ _and looked seriously at Fallon mostly in confusion. She had heard about Liam before and he seemed to be the sweetest guy. One of those guys that would surely want to be there for every appointment, Addison thought._

_“He doesn’t.” Fallon bit her lip._

_“Why is that?”_

_“I haven’t found the right timing… And… I’m not sure how he will react. Last time we talked about it, he really didn’t want kids, and then he had a kid show up that he thought was his son, but it really was his brother...” Fallon rambled as she moved in slight discomfort. “…and when we found out the kid was his brother; he was so relieved and… I know I need to tell him.”_

_“Well, I think you will have to figure that out sooner rather than later.” Addison shook her head while she searched for the little embryo. “Let’s see that secret baby…” Fallon’s head turned to the large monitor in the room. “Well, there it is.” Addison smiled at Fallon’s fascination with the images. “Here is the gestational sack…” she pointed with the cursor. “And this is the embryo. It’s a bit small but it’s measuring close to that 7 weeks mark you mentioned.” Fallon couldn’t take her eyes off the screen, even if all she could really see was a shapeless white blob that really didn’t look like anything yet. “And this little dot.” Fallon turned her head towards Addison as she paused mid-sentence. “It’s a heartbeat.”_

_Addison turned the sound on, and Fallon felt her heart race immediately._

_She couldn’t believe Liam wasn’t there to listen to that precious soft pounding sound with her. It was the sweetest sound she had ever heard, yet, in that moment, all she could think about was how she wished Liam was there to share that moment with her._

* * *

“I-… Did you go through my stuff?” she scoffed, offended, the defensiveness in her coming through to avoid giving him a straight answer.

“That’s not the point here, Fallon! Are you or aren’t you pregnant?”

“Liam…” she couldn’t believe it was happening like this. This was one of the scenarios she hadn’t prepared for: the one where he finds out before she tells him, and all hell breaks loose. “Yes.”

“When were gonna tell me, Fallon? When?” Liam’s voice breaks as he lets go of the tears, he had been holding in. “Were you waiting for the baby to be born to tell me? Were you counting on me not noticing a growing belly?”

“I can explain.” Fallon stated simply, trying to find the right words to move forward.

“Yeah, and you have some explaining to do!” Fallon rarely had Liam raise his voice at her and all she knew was that she didn’t like it. Fallon was no stranger to yelling. She heard it her whole life and she did it quite a lot herself, but there was something about Liam raising his voice that always felt unsettling to her, like a knife through her heart.

“This was exactly what I was afraid of!” she shouted back. “I really want this baby, Liam, and I couldn’t handle you not wanting it! This is exactly why I didn’t tell you!” she responded in a similar tone, her voice cracking at the last words. She took in a big gulp of air as she broke down in tears of frustration.

“You really don’t see the problem here?” Liam closed his eyes and took a big deep breath, reminding himself that he needed to stay calm not to make the situation even worse. “I’m not mad you are pregnant! I’m mad you didn’t tell me, Fallon! That’s the problem here!” Fallon felt her body freeze in a mixture of embarrassment and regret. “The real problem here is that my wife doesn’t trust me!” he continued, watching as the only sounds coming from her were sniffles. “How long have you known?”

“About 3 weeks.” she managed the utter the three words, sitting down on the edge of the bed, exhausted not only from a long day of work but also the emotional overload she was feeling. Fallon looked down at her feet and played with her wedding ring as she focused on her controlling her breathing and on avoiding meeting his wet eyes.

“And during those 3 weeks, did not once, _once_ , Fallon, occurred to you that I should probably know about this child?” he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “Look at me.” He asked in a softer tone and watched her head rise.

“Liam…”

“This is a child, Fallon. Our child…” his voice barely audible at the last words, breaking as all he could think about were the reasons why she had kept it from him.

“I’m sorry, Liam! I was scared…”

“Why?” he was honestly confused. “When have I ever been anything but absolutely supportive, Fallon? What did you think I was gonna do? What scared you so much about my reaction that had you lying to me for 3 weeks?”

“I don’t know…” she sniffled in-between hiccups. “It was an accident. I just didn’t know how you would take it.” She cleaned the tears desperately coming out of her already puffy eyes. “I totally forgot to take my pill for a few days during our honeymoon and when I realized, I went back on it right away!” Fallon was so nervous that words were just spilling out of her mouth as fast as humanly possible. “But I never thought I would actually get pregnant right away. I swear.”

“Yeah, okay, but why didn’t you tell me?” he countered before she had even finished talking.

“After the whole thing with Connor and you not wanting kids… I didn’t know how you would react and where you stood on the topic. I was scared you wouldn’t want the baby or…” Fallon cleared her throat before picking up the pace of her explanation, trying to make it as clear as possible that, in her head, she had valid reasons for omitting a pregnancy for so long.

“Or you would think I did it on purpose just to get my way, which I didn’t! I know this is not what you wanted, you didn’t choose this but neither did I. This is also not what I planned for our first month as a married couple or even what we agreed to, but… I love you, Liam…”

“Do you _really_?” Liam scoffed while shaking his head in disbelief. “Someone who loved me would never have kept this from me. You said it yourself!”

“I love you, Liam.” Fallon got up and tried to hold his hand, surprised to see him accept her touch. “I do love you…”, her words barely understandable between sobs, “and I love this baby. You have to believe that!”

“Fallon.” He took a deep breath and tried to use his softest tone as seeing her in a pool of tears was enough to break his heart in the tiniest pieces. “I’ve told you… Did I want to have you all to myself for a few years? Yes, I did... Did I want us to have planned for this baby together? Yes. Does this pregnancy scare the hell out of me? Yes, it certainly does...” he looked down at her hand in his, her tight grip on the tip of his fingers, afraid he would let go.

“But you know what really set me off and is really upsetting me?” Liam tried to keep himself from getting emotional again. “My wife, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the woman I swore to love and be there for no matter what…” their eyes locked and they both took in each other’s pain. “What is hurting me is… to have that woman, who I love more than anything else, hide a pregnancy for me… For absolutely no reason, Fallon. That hurts me.”

“I’m sorry, baby…”

“A woman that knows that I have been lied to for 10 years about having a son that’s actually my brother. A woman that knows just how much I have suffered because of lies like that…”

“Liam, I’m so, so, sorry, baby.” Fallon tried to kiss him, but Liam moved his head to the side just in time to avoid it, leaving a bigger look of hurt in both their faces.

“We are married, Fallon! This is my baby too…” his voice cracking as his emotions got the best of him again. This wasn’t certainly how either of them wanted to remember such an important mark in their lives. “You should have told me regardless of how you thought I might or might not have reacted. I thought you would understand that.” He explained in a much softer tone.

“I’m sorry, Liam. You’re totally right. I should have…” she cleaned the tears on her face and nodded her head in agreement, returning to holding his hands as soon as she could, fearing that if she took too long, he would no longer allow her to hold onto him. “I’m sorry I was not the one to tell you.”

“I just don’t understand why you don’t trust me, Fallon…”

“I do, Liam! I do trust you! I just…”

“And I really didn’t want to, but now… I start questioning myself on whether I should trust you! You hid this from me for 3 weeks, Fallon. More, if we think about you knowing about the pill situation and not tell me about that either.”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Liam, except that I really, really am sorry. This is not how I wanted you to find out and…” she gasped for air. “All I really didn’t want was to have a fight about it… and I ended up putting us in this situation, and now you don’t trust me… and I can see exactly why…”

“Come here” he looked down at her firm grip on his hand once again and pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her in a protective embrace. Fallon felt her body relax at his touch as she continued sobbing uncontrollably.

Liam could feel the tension that had built between them ease when he placed a gentle kiss on her neck before he held her face with both his hands, cleaning the tears on her cheeks and adding “I’m still mad at you.” He could not handle the sadness in her eyes. “And I definitely think we need to go more into depth on why you just hid this from me for so long. It's something we need to work on together, but… Right now, I don’t want you crying like this.” he kissed the top of her head and proceeded to pull her into an even tighter hug.

“I love you. No matter what, Fallon.” He run his fingers through her long locks as she continued to sob into his chest. “I have told you a million times, and I will repeat it a million more times if needed.” Liam could tell there was something deeper going on, and maybe it was the hormones, but he had never seen her cry so much, and it was starting to freak him out. “It’s okay, Fal… I’m here... And… I’m excited about _our_ baby too.”

“I’m sorry, Liam.”

“Let’s get in bed.” As they both lie down on their sides facing each other, Liam gently caresses Fallon’s face, trying to get her to calm down. “I hate to see you cry… It’s okay, babe.” He reassured but decided that the only way to really calm her down would be by having her feel his touch. Adjusting his pillows, Liam got closer to Fallon in bed and opened up his arms to welcome her. Fallon took the hint right away and let herself lie down on his chest. “Everything is okay…” he stroked her hair until he noticed the hiccups fading away. “I know you went to the doctor. Is everything okay?” he asked, trying to distract her.

“Yeah…” she cleaned the remaining tears, forcing herself to stop crying, now that she was feeling herself calm down in his arms. “I got to see the baby, it didn’t look like much yet… and I even heard the heartbeat.”

“Oh…” Liam looked down, trying not to show how jealous he actually felt in that moment. “That’s… great.”

“I’m so sorry you weren’t there. I have a photo but, I can schedule another appointment soon so you can see and hear the baby too…”

“I would love that, actually.” Liam slipped his arm under the covers and placed his palm in her lower abdomen underneath her pajama shirt, his fingertips gently playing with her skin. “I cannot wait to be able to feel the kicks… and watch your belly grow…” he placed a kiss on her forehead, staying there for a few seconds, feeling his own body let go of the anger had built up inside him. “And… have you wake me up in the middle of the night to get you whatever weird food combo you are _desperately_ craving…” Liam let out a little laugh that lightened the mood between them and even got a shy smile from Fallon. “It will be fun…”

“Are you ready for me to get fat?” she asked running her hands through his toned abs underneath his shirt.

“Fallon…” Liam rolled his eyes as he played with her hair. Of course, she would think about that. “I’m not worried at all. My only worry right now is if you have been taking care of yourself… Have you even been eating properly? Did you have dinner?”

“I did.” Fallon knew he was the best husband in the world, but she also had no doubt that his caring nature would make him the best dad in the world. “I had Allison go get me dinner from that new restaurant that just opened, and I ate it all.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Of course not. You were always going to be the first person I was gonna tell, Liam… No matter what.”

“We are not going into it again… but, you have to promise to never hide anything from me again. Not something like this, Fallon…”

“I won’t.” she looked up at him directly, finally feeling more peaceful, her heart rate finding its normal rhythm back. “I promise. Believe me. You have no idea how much I wish I had done it all differently.”

* * *

Liam kneeled beside Fallon on the toilet and placed his hand gently over hers, feeling her ice cold skin, instinctively rub his hand over hers to warm it up.

“Do you want to move to the bed for a while, babe?” Liam’s voice was weak, and Fallon didn’t even dare to speak, deciding to go with a simple nod instead.

Silence had been their new language for the past week. Their kisses weren’t followed by “I love you’s”, their late night cuddle sessions didn’t include their usual pillow talks and whenever Liam tried to get Fallon to talk about her feelings, she would just completely shut down.

That day, it all started at 4pm when Liam got the call from Fallon telling him she was going home. Fallon didn’t have to say anything else. They had been preparing themselves for the past week. The silence that followed her simple statement on the phone was ended with a hopeful “I love you” and a deep sigh that they both shared.

* * *

_Fallon was delighted while exchanging loving looks between Liam and the ultrasound screen when Dr. Montgomery’s long silence started to worry her. Addison was always a bit more talkative and at first Fallon thought she was just shy about meeting Liam for the first time, but now she had the sense that maybe there was something else going on._

_“Is everything okay?”_

_“No.” Addison stated right away making both Fallon and Liam lose the smile on their faces instantly. “There is no easy way to tell you this…” her many years of experience allowed her to know that honesty really was the best policy in situations like this. “The baby has stopped growing since the last appointment, and today, I cannot find a heartbeat. I’m sorry. You are having a miscarriage.”_

_“What?” Stage 1. Denial. All Fallon felt was numbness. She felt Liam get closer to her and although she had her eyes open, she couldn’t see anything._

_“But everything was fine last time!” Stage 2. Anger. Liam felt robbed. He had been robbed of the experience they had been envisioning together and that he was utterly excited to finally be a part of. A journey cut short. “Isn’t there anything we can do?” A hint of desperation in his voice. “I don’t know… Anything?”_

_“I’m so sorry. These things just happen sometimes. I can’t tell you exactly why.” Dr. Montgomery hurried to wipe the gel off Fallon’s stomach. “I’m gonna give you two a moment and I will come back in a few minutes to let you know what options you have next…”_

_Before Addison could even leave the room, Liam directed his attention to Fallon, still lying on her back, a emotionless expression on her face._

_“Fal, babe…” Her stillness was strange and unlike herself. “Say something, please…”_

_“I’m sorry.” She looked at him, blue orbits on verge of tears meeting his already overflowing._

_“You have nothing to be sorry about, Fallon.” He squeezed her hand and pulled her shirt down covering her exposed belly, pulling her into a tight hug. “We will be okay.” He stroked her hair, taking in the smell of the perfume on her neck as he kissed it. The only thing that could make him feel better in that moment._

_“I-… I don’t know what happened.” Her voice cracked, looking around the room in disbelief that what was happening was real. “You never got to hear it. The heartbeat.” The realization making the tears building up in her eyes finally run free. If she had told him sooner, he would have heard it. That was her fault._

_“It’s okay.” He kept saying, even if in that moment it didn’t feel like that was or ever was gonna be true. “We are in this together, Fal. Look at me.” He held her chin. “We will get through this together and we will have our baby with us one day.” He kissed her again before the pout in her lips could fully form._

_“We can try again whenever we feel ready, and most importantly,” he took a deep breath to gain the strength needed to continue. “We will always have each other.” He squeezed her hand. “If you let me, I'd like to be there for everything. Whatever happens next.”_

_They heard the creaking sound of the office’s door opening and Dr. Montgomery coming back in again with a few papers and a small package._

_“I got you those pamphlets about your options.” Addison explained carefully. “You have 3 options. You can have a D &C which is basically a medical procedure where we will clean your uterus of any pregnancy tissue. It requires a small hospital stay and it has some minor risks…” she paused, and Fallon and Liam looked between each other. _

_“Or, you can have a medicated induced miscarriage at home. We give you some pills that you can take at home that will induce contractions and help speed up the process. The pills have some side effects like nausea, vomits and diarrhea.” Addison looked at the young couple, completely lost about what was going on._

_“And then… you have the more natural way, where you just wait and let your body do what it needs to do… That might take a while longer and might not start right away. Do you have any questions?”_

_“When you say it might not start right away…”_

_“It might take a week or so, in your case, since your embryo still measured the same that it did at 7 weeks, I’m assuming it stopped growing around that time. It can take up to 3 or 4 weeks for the miscarriage to occur naturally…”_

_“I want to wait.” Fallon said firmly with no hesitation. She knew it was stupid but part of her was still hopeful that something might change. She felt good, she had no indications that something had gone wrong, and that was probably what was making it harder for her to accept the fact that she had lost her baby._

_“Is there anything we can do to prepare for it?”_

_“Honestly, there isn’t much. It will be rough but just try to be there for each other. You want to make sure you are in a comfortable setting, and I would recommend taking at least a couple days off work…” Addison watched as Liam took Fallon’s shaky hand in his._

_“I brought you this kit.” she placed the plastic bag on the desk. “In no way should you feel obligated to do this, but if you want to collect some tissue, we can analyze it and try to determine the cause of the miscarriage…” she tried to offer them an empathetic smile. “Miscarriages really are more common than you think, and it probably just was due to chromosomes abnormalities, but some couples find that they need it for closure, and if you feel like you need to know…”_

* * *

“Is there anything I can get you?” Liam adjusted the covers over her body, ensuring Fallon felt as comfortable as possible, watching her curl up in bed, the pain taking over her body.

“I just want to lie here with you.” Fallon wiped some of the tears streaming down her face and felt Liam slide into bed behind her, immediately pulling her closer to his warm body and gently placing the smallest kisses on her neck.

“It has been long enough…” Liam pushed some of her messy strands of brown hair away from her face. “Don’t you want to take anything for the pain again?”

It was just a little after 2 am and both of them were mentally prepared to stay up all night. Liam wished Fallon could feel comfortable enough to sleep for a while, but he knew that was just unrealistic. Fallon had been in pain for about 10 hours and Liam just wished there was something he could do to make it stop, so he offered whatever he could to make her feel better.

“I know it didn’t exactly help last time, but do you want to take another ibuprofen?” Fallon just nodded her head a little in response. “Got it. I will also make you a smoothie, okay?” Fallon turned herself towards him to explain how she didn’t feel like eating anything, but Liam didn’t let her get that far. “You have barely eaten anything all night, Fal, and you need some energy. If there is anything you think you will eat, I’ll make it for you.”

“The smoothie is okay.” Fallon didn’t even bother to protest. She felt him slip out of bed, only to come back upstairs a few minutes later with a tray filled with stuff, including her fruit smoothie, a warm bowl of pasta, the ibuprofen, her favorite black and white movie and, of course, some chocolates.

Fallon sat up in bed and stared blankly at the tray.

“Since we are gonna be up all night…” Liam placed the tray at the end of the bed before picking up the DVD and starting to set up everything to play the movie. “I thought we could try to make the best of it… I brought your favorite movie, but you don’t even have to watch it. We could just cuddle and have it playing in the background.”

“Liam…” Fallon could feel herself getting emotional again. For better or for worst. In sickness and in health. Fallon knew he meant it then, and even more every time he actually showed it. Somedays, she wasn’t even sure she deserved him, but she was thankful Liam always thought she did.

“Don’t worry, the pasta is for me. I won’t make you eat it, but I will share if you want some, and trust me, it’s pretty good.”

“I’m sorry, Liam.” Liam frowned, confused as to what she was apologizing for. He finished preparing the movie and headed back to bed, taking his place by her side and pulling the tray closer to them.

“First…” he picked up the glass bottle with a straw where he had put the smoothie for her. “I want you to drink some of this. Then the ibuprofen.” He took it to her lips and watched her slurp, feeling better that she was filling up her stomach.

“I’m sorry for how I have been acting this week…” It had been exactly one week since they had gotten the news, and although they were both suffering, they were suffering in different ways. “I didn’t mean to push you away… and having you by my side has actually helped a lot. Thank you for giving me my space but never really leave me alone.”

“It’s okay. I know you, Fallon.” Fallon took the ibuprofen, drinking some water to help it down her throat, laying down and resting her head on his chest right after.

“I don’t think I can go through this again, Liam.” She closed her eyes and just felt his lips against her forehead.

“You don’t have to, and I know I cannot promise you that it wouldn’t happen again, but… if you want, and I know you do… We can always try again later, Fallon.” She didn’t move at all, her eyes still closed as all she paid attention to was the unmatched rhythm of both their heartbeats. “It doesn’t have to be next month, or even next year, but I know it’s something you really want; I really want… And that we will make happen someday.” His hand running down her arm. “You will be an incredible mother, Fallon.”

“I’m glad we didn’t tell anyone else.” She confessed in a whisper. “I really didn’t want to have to talk to everyone about it… And have to listen everyone’s comments. Thank you for keeping that between us.”

“Of course.” Liam kissed her forehead again as he felt her grip a little tighter to his arm, probably just another really bad cramp. “I think they would actually surprise you, especially your mother, Fallon. She noticed something was wrong with you when we last saw her, and both her and Cristal have experience with… this sort of situation.” Liam pointed out. “But the only thing I care about is how you feel, and I do understand your point. I know I certainly wouldn’t want to hear what my mother has to say about it…”

“We are never telling her.”

“Yeah, definitely not, and I’m here for you, but I think one day, you’ll want to open up to someone who has had a similar experience…”

“I just wonder what it would be like if this hadn't happened. I don’t know if I need to talk about it…” She felt a few stray tears escape her eyes. “I was really looking forward to meeting this baby. There is so much I wanted to know…” Fallon looked up at him before she continued. “If it was a boy or a girl… If it would look more like me or you… What their little personality would be like… And.” She sighed in exhaustion. “I just can’t have this happen again and have all those answers stolen from us one more time.”

“We can imagine it together.” Liam suggested, running his hand down her back in a smoothing motion. “What do you think?”

“I had the same recurrent dream this week.” Fallon confessed.

“About babies?”

“Yeah, but it was always the same baby.” She felt weird admitting it. Fallon had been having a hard time falling asleep lately, and when she did sleep, she always woke up in the middle of the same dream. The one where there were three of them. She knew it was totally a product of her imagination, and she felt silly for even suggesting it, but she did anyway. “Do you think it could be him?” looking up at Liam to watch his reaction.

“A boy?” Fallon just nodded; a bit shy about opening up furthermore about it. “How did he look like?”

“Like you.” She let out a sigh as she tried to remember more details. “It looked a lot like you did in your baby pictures. That blonde baby angel hair with the loose curls at the ends…” Liam couldn’t help but feel his heart sink.

“What is he doing?”

“In my dream, the three of us are laying in bed and I always picture him, in just a diaper, smiling up at us while you tickle him.” Fallon smiled as the images flashed through her mind once again. “It feels so real, Liam…” she really doesn’t want to keep crying but, the mixture of her emotions with the pain from the contractions, makes it impossible to keep the tears to herself. “I always wake up disappointed he is not here… and won’t be.”

“Yeah, I think that’s him, babe. I think that’s our baby.” Liam said almost in a whisper and Fallon pursed her lips in search of a kiss, which she got right away. “Someday.”

“Yeah… Someday.” Fallon rested her head again and closed her eyes, hoping the warmth of his body would make the pain subside and take her back to her dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!  
> I think it would be interesting to see this happen in season 4, and I think if done properly it would be REALLY good! We would have cuddles and that hurt/comfort bed scenes, we would get them to explore their trust issues, and then... as an outcome of this, maybe they would decide that they do want to have a baby together, and start baby making practices! xD And of course, it would be hilarious once Fallon got pregnant!


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